Saturday, January 9, 2016

Mom's Jedi Power: Teaching Contentment and Debt Free Principles, while Fighting the Entitlement Attitude on My Homestead

"From now on, the only words you may say when someone provides food for you are 'thank you'!! You will not complain! Do. You. Understand?" I spat out between gritted teeth at my young daughters.
It had happened again. Despite my best intentions at teaching and modeling gratitude, complaining had once again become the norm in our home.
This time, the time that pushed me over the edge of sanity towards a free-fall into the head spinning, flaming eyed beast of a mom, aka: the Dark Side, it was a complaint about which flavor oatmeal I was making for breakfast.
I snapped. 
"I am not required to feed you something different for breakfast every day. In fact, I could feed you the same breakfast, the same lunch, and the same dinner every day, and there is nothing anyone could do about it. I am only required to provide food. I only make something different because I get bored."
We had just read the Little House on the Prairie series, and so I continued, "Do you remember that winter Pa, Ma, Laura and her sisters were so hungry they ate hay? I bet they would have been glad to have  this oatmeal, or any oatmeal for that matter."
Then I went a step further; I took it global. 
"You've seen the pictures from my trip to India, haven't you? Have you seen the one of naked children washing their clothes in the gutter? Why do you suppose they are naked? Probably because they only have one set of clothes. And you feel the need to complain about breakfast?"

We have so much for which we are thankful, and yet, far too often we fall into the trap of being discontent. Whether you are eight, eighty-eight, or somewhere in between, it is all together too easy to have the same attitude as displayed by my child that morning: "I don't like that kind."
Discontentment will cause us to spend more than we should, to complain, and to be unhappy. 

So how do I combat that in myself and in my children?
Here are four things I do in my home that seem to help. 

*Practice Thankfulness and Contentment
I choose to be happy. I choose to be satisfied with what I have. It is a decision I make and strive to model and instill in my girls. We discuss thankfulness.
Each fall whenever we feel thankful we write it down and put it in the thankfulness jar and read them together periodically.

*Earn It
I am an adult. I work for my money. Then I buy what I want. That is how the world works. I don't get handed everything I want just because I want it. The same goes for our children. They work for us and are paid for jobs and have to save up for things they desire. Not only do they get a sense of accomplishment, but they have a better understanding of the value of a dollar.
Thing Two earned this trampoline at age nine. 
At only thirteen she bought her own horse.

*Discuss and Live Debt Free Principles
We don't use credit cards. We pay cash whenever possible. We talk about what it means to buy on credit or take out a loan or use a credit card. We do the math. We make suggestions like, "Why not pay yourself a car payment for a few years and then buy a car with cash instead of being tied to a car payment?" 

*Give
 It is amazing how discontent can be battled with one's own generosity. The Things and I have volunteered collecting food for the less fortunate. They spend time at the local nursing home talking with the elderly and work with the children in our church. We give of our time, money, and possessions. 
Thing One paid for half the trip to Nicaragua herself. Thanks to those of you who donated the rest to make the trip possible! While there she saw true poverty first hand and gained a greater understanding of just how wealthy we in America truly are.


What do you do to fight the entitlement attitude in your home? How are you teaching contentment? 





4 comments:

  1. The no-debt thing is definitely a big deal for us, other than the house (it's either pay someone else's mortgage via rent or have my own). We've never had a car payment and almost never use credit cards (and pay them off immediately when we do use them). My daughter is only five, but understands that everything costs money, and that Mommy has to work for the money.

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    1. I think that's probably about what my girls understood at age five, also. :)

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  2. Yes, we model thankfulness and gratitude on a daily basis. I feel like this has really helped our children get in the habit themselves and hopefully make it a way of life.

    As for the oatmeal? I could start an entire blog and write JUST about adventures in oatmeal. Lord help me...

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    1. haha... oh, oatmeal. Why such a controversal breakfast food?

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