Mom's Jedi Power: Teaching Contentment and Debt Free Principles, while Fighting the Entitlement Attitude on My Homestead

"From now on, the only words you may say when someone provides food for you are 'thank you'!! You will not complain! Do. You. Understand?" I spat out between gritted teeth at my young daughters.

It had happened again. Despite my best intentions at teaching and modeling gratitude, complaining had once again become the norm in our home.

This time, the time that pushed me over the edge of sanity towards a free-fall into the head spinning, flaming eyed beast of a mom, aka: the Dark Side, it was a complaint about which flavor oatmeal I was making for breakfast.

I snapped. 

"I am not required to feed you something different for breakfast every day. In fact, I could feed you the same breakfast, the same lunch, and the same dinner every day, and there is nothing anyone could do about it. I am only required to provide food. I only make something different because I get bored."

We had just read the Little House on the Prairie series, and so I continued, "Do you remember that winter Pa, Ma, Laura and her sisters were so hungry they ate hay? I bet they would have been glad to have  this oatmeal, or any oatmeal for that matter."

Then I went a step further; I took it global. 

"You've seen the pictures from my trip to India, haven't you? Have you seen the one of naked children washing their clothes in the gutter? Why do you suppose they are naked? Probably because they only have one set of clothes. And you feel the need to complain about breakfast?"

We have so much for which we are thankful, and yet, far too often we fall into the trap of being discontent. Whether you are eight, eighty-eight, or somewhere in between, it is all together too easy to have the same attitude as displayed by my child that morning: "I don't like that kind."

Discontentment will cause us to spend more than we should, to complain, and to be unhappy. 

So how do I combat that in myself and in my children?

Here are four things I do in my home that seem to help. 

*Practice Thankfulness and Contentment

I choose to be happy. I choose to be satisfied with what I have. It is a decision I make and strive to model and instill in my girls. We discuss thankfulness.

Each fall whenever we feel thankful we write it down and put it in the thankfulness jar and read them together periodically.

*Earn It

I am an adult. I work for my money. Then I buy what I want. That is how the world works. I don't get handed everything I want just because I want it. The same goes for our children. They work for us and are paid for jobs and have to save up for things they desire. Not only do they get a sense of accomplishment, but they have a better understanding of the value of a dollar.

Thing Two earned this trampoline at age nine. 

At only thirteen she bought her own horse.

*Discuss and Live Debt Free Principles

We don't use credit cards. We pay cash whenever possible. We talk about what it means to buy on credit or take out a loan or use a credit card. We do the math. We make suggestions like, "Why not pay yourself a car payment for a few years and then buy a car with cash instead of being tied to a car payment?" 

*Give

 It is amazing how discontent can be battled with one's own generosity. The Things and I have volunteered collecting food for the less fortunate. They spend time at the local nursing home talking with the elderly and work with the children in our church. We give of our time, money, and possessions. 

Thing One paid for half the trip to Nicaragua herself. Thanks to those of you who donated the rest to make the trip possible! While there she saw true poverty first hand and gained a greater understanding of just how wealthy we in America truly are.

What do you do to fight the entitlement attitude in your home? How are you teaching contentment? 

Hitch up your wagon!

Before I moved to Missouri, this was how I envisioned homesteading:

When Chris and I decided to leave the Los Angeles area, and move to the country, we had this crazy idea that we would like to support our family by growing and raising most of our own food, and by running agriculture based businesses from our own farm. This idea was inspired by friends of my cousin, whom we had never met, who left SoCal and moved to Colorado and are doing something similar. In so doing, we would be leading a more organic life, with close ties to our food and land, while providing quality produce and products for our consumers.

Turns out, it's a thing. And it has a name:

Homesteading.

The modern day homestead, sometimes called a farmstead, doesn't start out on a wagon at the sound of a gunshot. It starts when one decides to become more self-sufficient, and takes action towards that end. In our case, homesteading is a process. We are not attempting to go completely off grid from day one. While we will have our own well and septic system, we will rely on electricity from the power company at first. We will gradually build our orchard, kitchen garden, market garden, and increase our animal stock.

Our goal is to make fewer trips to town for supplies and to be able to depend on our own resources.

As we build zone by zone, we will keep you updated on the progress of our little homestead. It's an interesting journey from city life to country life. We are transforming the way we think about everything we consume as we try to live more simply. 

Have you made any decisions to become more self sufficient, simplify your life, or have a healthier lifestyle? What changes have you made? What challenges have you faced along the way? What would you like to know more about as we document our progress?

Organic Ideas

In our move from the city to the farm we are completely changing our lives around. And as we do so, we have been taking the opportunity to decide what is really important to us. What are our values? What is essential? What is extra? 

  

How do we want to shape our home and our businesses? 

I'm sure these values will change as we grow. Most of them are very different than the list I would have made five years ago, and that list is different than the one from ten or fifteen years ago. But it's where we are now. 

Here (in no particular order except for the first one) are some of the things that will govern our decisions in the next several months:

Biblical Principles

We are followers of Jesus. First and foremost we will strive to live life the way God wants. We will incorporate principles of stewardship, honesty, integrity, reliability, respectability, and kindness (and many others) in everything we do. We decide things after prayer and study. We make mistakes and we forgive one another. This guides everything we do. 

Buying Local

When possible we prefer to patronize small businesses. We recognize the hard work and immense effort required to run your own business. We want to see our friends and neighbors be successful, so we will be a part of that as much as possible. 

Building Community Relationships

We want to know our neighbors. We are part of a church here, and when we move we will join a church there. We look people in the eyes. We listen. We will learn your stories and be honored that you share them with us. We will partner with local businesses. 

Authenticity

Y'all know me. I not only share my successes, I also tell you about my mommy fail moments, my goofy side, and some of my disappointments. We are real people on an exciting adventure. We will share with you our attempts to try new things. We'll let you know what works and what doesn't. We truly care about our friends and family, and as we start businesses we desire to be authentic with our customers as well. 

Barter

We believe in trade. Cash is just paper. Credit and ATM cards are even less than paper. They're just promises of transfers between banks. But do they actually send a physical dollar over for every electronic transaction? I doubt it. Money has no intrinsic value. Don't get me wrong. I'll take your money. But "barter is better". Want something we have? Make an offer for trade.

Family 

Part of the reason for this move is to be nearer my parents, and also to provide a better family life for ourselves and our daughters. If we start an endeavor and it impacts our family negatively, we'll make changes. We will look for ways to support families in our sphere of influence. We will treat our customers and community as extended family. 

Gratitude 

We are thankful. We have been given so much. We are thankful for each and every customer. We can not adequately express the gratitude we feel for our family and friends who are cheering us on and encouraging us, but we will try. Thank you. We love y'all.  

Giving Back

I like purchasing from companies that do good for others. TOMS is one example. For every pair of shoes purchased, a pair is given to a child somewhere in the world. There are others; Burt's Bees gives money to non-profit start ups. I want Not A Farm Girl to be that kind of company. I recognize how extremely blessed I am. I want to now bless others and make the world a better place than I found it. I haven't worked out all the details, but to start with I am going to donate a percentage of Not A Farm Girl products (lotions, soaps, shampoo, etc.) to shelters for women and girls. I have other ideas for future service projects after we move, more about that as we go.

Organic

Most people associate organic with food. However, there are several definitions in the dictionary, and one definition from Dictionary.com is: organic - simple and healthful and close to nature.

That's what we're about as a family and that's what Not A Farm Girl will strive to be as a business.